bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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