He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
