I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize