Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
how does that bad decision feel?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize