I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
