Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The Olympian is in my bed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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