Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
