And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
