normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
