You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Panties = found
Randomize
