She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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