Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
