Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
