she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
