Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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