i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
