with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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