We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
