The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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