You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
