i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
