a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
