if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize