It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
