he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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