Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
