oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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