He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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