Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
