There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
