OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Vodka?
Forever.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
