Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
