Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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