I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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