Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
