walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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