i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
