if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
