Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My ATM looks so different sober.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
and you fell through a lawn chair
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
