She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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