I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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