when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
