Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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