I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
