yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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