i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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