it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
