Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
