$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
