Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
