yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize