I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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