I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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