So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
