I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
