I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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