dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
