Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
