I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
as a side note pls kill me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
