His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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