Don't EVER smell your tampon
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
