We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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