Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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