Sry I called you an 8
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
